"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."
Telephone Company Critic Gifts
Looking for a gift for the phone company critic? Celebrate their humorous take on telecoms with witty and creative products that speak their language. From mugs to prints, find something that matches their sharp wit and love for all things phone-related.
Feedback card for lions eating their prey.
Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.
'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'
People crossing the street while texting use white canes.
"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."
"I think you should change the company name, Mr Swill"
Support SABA - the society for the abolition of acronyms...
'Those dang telemarketers have a knack for knowing exactly when we're sitting down for dinner don't they?'
'Mr. Clark will text you now.'
'That's called the 'Mask of Tragedy.' Otherwise known as the last person whose cell phone rang during the opera!'
Central Bank: A Full Service Bank
"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"
Damn, cell phone!
'Hello, and welcome to Acme Cable. If you're calling about a billing issue, big whoop. Get over it and pay the bill. If your cable is out, who cares. When it's fixed, you'll know it. If you're...'
"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."
'I'm a struggling actor hired by your insurance company. Your policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'
Feedback card for the feedback card.
'For the wrong department: Press one. . . for a patronizing excuse: Press two. . .'
'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'
Handy Pre-made Notes for Modern Life
'The only thing he brought back from Earth is their annoying cell phone technology.'
'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'
"You're a bad Silicon Valley CEO, are't you? You need to be regulated, don't you."
'Now we know what BA stands for - Bloody Awful!'
I'm sorry, but my do-not-call list includes telemarketers, political organizations, charities and men named Fusco.
Cell phones
Why's the phone off the hook?
Hello, thank you for calling Mistercard. We are experiencing heavy call volume. Your call will be answered in the next 17 hours. In the meantime, your interest payments are continuing to rise. Please enjoy the hold music. You gotta admire the audacity.
"It's their 'Baby Babble Unlimited' plan!"
"Congratulations, you've broken our record for remaining on hold the longest...As a reward we're cutting you off so you can get on wit the rest of your day."
"Remember our motto, 'If it ain't broke, fix it anyway'!"
Very Direct Mail
'No I won't press one, two or a million. I want to speak to a human being!'
"Roses are red, violets are blue. You smell like shit, and desperation too."
Telephone Company Critic Gifts Collection
Telephone Company Critic Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs for the phone company critic, perfect for sparking laughs and sharp wit with every sip.
Telephone Company Critic Pillows
Shop our humorous pillows for that critic who loves to add a touch of satire to home or office decor.
Telephone Company Critic Prints
View our art prints featuring satirical takes on telecoms to spice up any room with humor and style.
Telephone Company Critic T-Shirts
Check out our range of t-shirts designed for the phone critic—witty, sharp, and perfect for making a statement.