Telecom Tactician T-Shirts

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

Martian Rovers find proof of intelligent life on the red planet.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'A telemarketing call for you, Sir.'

'Rudolph, I've reason to believe that you're moonlighting for a mobile phone company.'

The bus home.

'I hear they're going to cable.'

Arsene Wenger

This Amount of Computer Code

Cars with cycles on roof are overtaken by cyclist with car on his back.

Wi-Fi password?

Driver under frustration - no parking, speed humps, speed cameras and petrol price signs.

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

'Sir, we're txting the enemy!'

"It's more of a conversation piece, really."

'Writing is just like texting except you have to use all of the letters in each word.'

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

'I'm very concerned about the surveillance society.'

'Who are you calling 'oldtimer', sonny?!'

Oz in a Congestion Charge zone.

'We won't have wireless until 2015, but we've made available a pay phone with a three-mile cord.'

Before we can bring you ocean sounds, our business office will bill you for wireless roaming charges.

'Well, operator, it's sort of person to person.'

New Year's Resolutions for Angelenos