Tech Service Tactician T-Shirts

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Computer Expert

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

Hardware and software

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

Man feeding his computer money.

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Genius

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

I've always been slower than computers...

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

Early Tech Support

Tech support...can I help you!

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"Gary! Thank God you're home. The automatic pet feeder seems to be malfunctioning again."

'But we just fed the meter for another hour.'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

Kevin had a computer virus.

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

"Honey, our pop-up blocker stopped working again."

"Error 404: Brain not found"

"Is that Technical Support? My computer's fine - I just don't know how to operate my chair."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.