Teenage Navigators T-Shirts

"Looks like the kids have gone off to college. Let's grab a few years alone in the house before they decide to return."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

'We are giving that kid too much pocket money.'

'Dad gave up teaching me how to drive...I drove him nuts.'

"Why didn't you spring for a proper G.P.S.?"

Graduate receives a tax bill instead of a diploma

'Your father and I would rather you didn't go out tonight,Jessica dear!'

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

Teenager sitting at desk with in/out tray which read:'I want' and 'Not fair'

Freshers' week societies - 'Debt', 'Poverty' and 'No Money'.

Surroundsound

"I can't believe that in a few short years we're actually going to like them."

'He's moody, cynical, lazy and talks back. Harriet, it's just not easy raising the dead.'

'While we realize it's difficult having a sick child at home, Mrs. Mote, we believe you sent Philip back a little soon.'

'Son, your mom and me are sick of bearing a capriciously, pubescent teenager. We decided to change you into a goldfish.'