Teen Interest Pillows

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"He's gone goth"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Beware of the teenager.'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

Funny Farm

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"