Teen Financier Pillows

"Video game? No, I'm using the raise in my allowance to buy back stock."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"He's gone goth"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'That's my boy...'

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."