Tee Time Trainee Pillows

'So, you're new at the game.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Golf lessons

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

The Amateur Golfer

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Golfers lost on the road

Golf

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Virtual patient.'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

'What a divot?'

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

He's working his way up to lions!

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

Do as many study days as you can

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

"Mind if we play through?"

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'