Trainee Teacher Pillows

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

A Puppet Named Juan

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

The Ideal Teacher.

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Virtual patient.'

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

Teacher appreciation then...and teacher appreciation now.

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

Teacher.

"I know you're new to the job, Ms. Jones, but the correct term is 'stat'... not 'move your ass'!"

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

Survey says there are still a quarter of trainee GPs to stay in full-time clinical work

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

"Trainee Baristas Queue Here"

Do as many study days as you can

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

He's working his way up to lions!

"Sorry, it’s my first day."

'Or there's a budget treatment with one of our trainees...'