Technophobe Tickler T-Shirts

'It's in my resume. I don't do computer windows.'

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Pensioners and Phones

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'To be honest, I'm having trouble keeping up with all this new technology.'

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

"Some people are reluctant to accept change."

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"Technology moving too fast."

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

"Stop! You're painting over all my passwords."