Techno-sage T-Shirts

'I only do biometric readings now.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Here's MY information highway!'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Wikipedia...

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Music producers.

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

IMHOtep

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

Computer spying.

Computer whisperer.

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

Gawk

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

Jeff's computer had ran out of memory again. Computer is saying 'How do I turn on again?'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."