Technical Support Specialist Pillows

"It's big, slow and proboably a fire hazard. But I was able to pay for it out of petty cash."

'I sent the wrong email by mistake - I'm trying to get it back!'

'OK, first of all, have you tried slamming the keyboard down, whacking the top of the monitor and shouting WORK! DAMN YOU! WORK!'

'Are you sure that hitting it with a baseball bat will work?'

"You have reached technical support...your call is important to us so please stay on the line..."

'Say what you like about Cloud Computing, but the technical support is amazing.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Don't get smart with me!"

Sign reads: Not out of order.

"...First it kept on showing me the error code, then it said I had no internet connection, then it tried to connect me to windows and then I remembered the axe I had in my bag..."

Scratching head

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Your call is important to us but so are our mocha lattes. Stay on the line. We will be with you shortly.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Man being shown how to use computer by a woman.

'I don't think of myself as a caddie, I provide technical support for golfers.'

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"My new antivirus software makes my computer self destruct if someone tries to hack into it. I mistakenly hit the wrong key when typing in my password."

"I must be getting on tech-support's nerves, because they now answer by saying, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

"Problem?"

'Read the manual. You can't keep yelling, 'Here boy', every time you need help.'

Tech Support Values

'Technical Support. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

'I'm referring you to tech assistance to help figure out your insurance options.'

"You have 2,974 tabs open. I suggest closing about 2,970 of them. That may speed up your computer."

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'Wheel technical support line.'

'If you would not like to speak to a human, press one...'

"And, um, here you see our prospects for future growth."

"I understand you're a troubleshooter when it comes to websites."

'As usual, tech support is busy.'

'It appears to be a blog clog.'

'And you get this free.'

"Don't mention it Madam...It's my job to pretend I'm interested in whatever it is you're talking about."

"Try rebooting your computer again..."