Techie In The Afterlife Gifts

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"It might be a while, the server just crashed again."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

You Have 1 New Messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Holy phone

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

Why god isn't listening...

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

Orchestra playing to working man.

'Sorry to call you up early Steve, but our network just crashed.'

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

'OMG!'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

No Connection.

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

"I hate this damn thing!"

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."