Techie Art Curator T-Shirts

"Notice how her eyes follow your bluetooth-enabled visitor badges around the room."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

Paul Klee

"I think he was a celebrity."

The Googler

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

It's a call from Tate modern.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

Painting taking root...

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I could do that.'

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Children's Art Show.

Rodin's Browser

"Now this I get."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

Escher exhibition first floor

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

M.C. Escher Exhibit Upstairs.

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Gallery book shop - Rodin's Browser

"I read 'Art News.'"