Tech Troubleshooter At Heart Prints

plain talk tech support: what the **#@%&** do you want?

"My email is down... talk to me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Careful! He knows computers."

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

It was her last day so Mary decided to find out something that had bugged her for years: what the button with the skull & crossbones was for.

"No, not that button!"

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"Camera not working."

'Home office' worker's house with cable going to 'Office services companies'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

Explosion - "About the computer, try to remember the last three keys you pressed."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

'Can you show me on this dolly what Bill Gates did to your computer?'

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

"Don't embarrass me again, spell-checker."

'You want to discuss the glitches in the software I sent you? No, Tuesday's out - how about never - is never okay?'

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'