Tech Trouble-shooter Prints

'Something is wrong with the laser printer!'

"You can count on two things in this life: tax code revisions and software updates."

Wringing the Monitor

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

'I can't come out and play. I have to show my owner how to hook up his DVD player. Sometimes it's a curse being a smart breed.'

How to deal with wikileaks

'Don't knock it. Since I put the candles up, the computer hasn't crashed all term.'

Till malfunction

"I never gave you more than you could handle. Well, except for all those passwords."

"This makes a lot more money than the Tunnel of Love."

"I warned him that his laptop was overheating and that he should get it fixed."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"My email is down... talk to me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”