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Man Has A Complaint About His Solar-Powered Radio

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

Fish in Water Cooler.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

tax

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

We'll pass on the entrees...

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"My child has special wants."

You have a low grade fever.

Akme National Bank: Our Assets Can Whip Your Assets.

"Welcome to tonight's panel on interfaith humour."

He's a financial analyst. He's running the numbers for his latest project. C'mon! You can do better than this! Running the numbers didn't give him the needed results, so he's trying something else. Mmm, creamy. I like this. Sometimes you just have to fudge the numbers.

'He specializes in chicken dishes.'

Wormio! Wormio! Where for art thou Wormio?

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercise. I don't thing he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

"You planted only beans and corn last year, right Herman...?"

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

Internet crap.

"How much did you spend at Macy's this year?

Donut Eating Contest

Phone call from heaven.

"Shut the door! Do you live in a barn or something?!"

Breakthrough by a comic

'I don't need informed consent to take your temperature.'