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'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Snowprov

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

'They must be trash fish!'

We'll pass on the entrees...

"My child has special wants."

'He specializes in chicken dishes.'

Wormio! Wormio! Where for art thou Wormio?

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

"I am having an alternative Christmas."

"Welcome to tonight's panel on interfaith humour."

"You planted only beans and corn last year, right Herman...?"

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercise. I don't thing he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Santa delivering newspapers

Phone call from heaven.

Donut Eating Contest

"Shut the door! Do you live in a barn or something?!"

Breakthrough by a comic

Tire Store. Blowout Sale!

Bibles r us.

'Sorry, we're looking for a short order cook.'

"The starfish doesn't want to stay on top of our Christmas tree!"

Getting Religion Back Into Christmas.

'It looks like the baby drew an organizational chart of our family!'