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Bibles r us.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

How's my sermon. . .

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

Eucharist

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

Holy phone

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.

Preaching from the New Western Consumerist Version of the Bible.

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'That better not be a second rib scar, Adam.'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.