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Bibles r us.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

How's my sermon. . .

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Eucharist

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

Holy phone

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Preaching from the New Western Consumerist Version of the Bible.

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

'That better not be a second rib scar, Adam.'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'