Tech Terms Juggler T-Shirts

Sir, please stow your personal electronics. How come he gets to keep his out? Who? That guy over there, with the stylus and the analog tablet. "Stylus and … analog tablet"? You mean "pen and paper"? You say "tomato," I say "disposable power cell for smartphone operators."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

Juggler and Illusionist

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Tennis ball girl.

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

Circus

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"I'll bet he knows what it's like to be a single working mother."

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'I don't know. It's too busy.'