Tech-savvy Troublemaker Gifts

"How many times I gotta tell ya, Louie...we;re into cyber crime these days...No one dresses like dat for cyber crime."

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

Returns: 'I'd like to trade this in for a phone I can hear with my ear.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"Careful! He knows computers."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Computer operator welding machine.

It was her last day so Mary decided to find out something that had bugged her for years: what the button with the skull & crossbones was for.

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"No, not that button!"

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

Explosion - "About the computer, try to remember the last three keys you pressed."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

"Camera not working."

"Don't embarrass me again, spell-checker."

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

"Buy my data $20"

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'