Tech-savvy Table Setter Pillows

Table Setting, 2014.

Tossing computer into canyon.

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

Giggle.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

"Oh, honey! The "Chef's Table!?!" I'm impressed!"

Questions Online

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

Cafe. It didn't go well? That date was selected for you by a sophisticated statistical algorithm. Lots of math, but no chemistry.

'That brush - how many dpi?'

'Laura realised it was time to update her online dating profile.'

'It didn't work out. We got along great, but our phones were incompatible.'

Augmented reality check

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

"Did I set the table right? Fork, knife, tooth brush?"

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

Modern Day Christmas Carolers

"And our charging station, also a period piece. . ."

"Do me a favor. . . stick to changing the wallpaper that's on your computer."

"Fine – if they all want to meet online, screw them."

"Siri, find me someone better."

"Mom, call the appliance store. The self-cleaning stove isn't cleaning itself!"

"Would you care to come up and see my cardiovascular fitness data?"

The updated 'Moby Dick'...

No caption. (A diner's napkin swan flies away).

"Five settings? Who's coming over?"

'Roy proposed to me in an email, but my spam filter rejected it.'

Modern Chivalry

"Sir Eustache is searching for a coaster for the holy grail."