Tech-savvy Sage Pillows

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'The meaning of life??? How the hell should I know? Try Google.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

'Until this year, I couldn't find the meaning of life...but then I switched search engines.'

'Thank you for calling the guru. If you want the meaning of life, press one. If you want the significance of the Universe, press two. If you want....'

God finds all the prayers of mankind in his spam folder.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

'Your life lacks meaning I entered 'raison d'etre' on the computer and here are a few ideas...'

'Did you try 'Google'?'

'Excuse me, I need some help. Do you speak Tweet?'

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."

'Of course you did better when you went to school. That was before the information age.'

"I'm not looking up any scriptures. The church doesn't have WiFi and I'm out of data."

"Alexa, give me the meaning of life..."

'You know, if we got a big-screen TV, we could all watch it!'

"Before I share the meaning of life with Dave, let's take some calls from our viewers around the world."

"You must lose your attachments."

Telebanking

Guru with Computer

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

"I have no idea what it all means, but we can go online to see what it all costs."

"Thou," not "you"! "Shalt," not "shallow"! "Sayeth," not "sawtooth"! Gah, I'm gonna smite somebody! God's Autocorrect.

"No one reads them, all wisdom flows on WhatsApp now."

"God give me strength to not check WhatsApp till breakfast."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"On the Internet, no one knows you're an idiot."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

'Here's MY information highway!'

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

Typewriters and Laptops.

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."