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Modern Marriage

e-shoes

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

Relaxing in the Sun

Weird things I do because of the internet

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Early Learning Today

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"What makes you question our motives for coming here?"

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

CCTV in church.

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'