Tech-savvy Mobster Pillows

'Keep an eye on Jimmy the Shark during today's meeting. You can always tell if he's planning a double-cross by the way he fidgets with his iPhone.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Now the geeks hold all the power. They're the ones who know how to forge a parent's e-signature."

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

Halloween Selfie

Computer operator welding machine.

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

Internet Shoplifting

"Buy my data $20"

This Cave Updated Daily.

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

"We don't bury treasure anymore - it's all in bitcoin."

"Since we became a paperless workplace, it's harder to keep track of how much work Ziegler is actually doing!"

"You mean you leaked his password because he uses my name as his password instead of yours?"

"I have 130 disciples following me on Twitter."

Rationalization

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

'That brush - how many dpi?'

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"No, Kevin, it won't work to select one sentence and paste it 49 times."

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

'A computer virus ate my homework.'

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.