Tech-savvy Legal Fan Prints

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Impartiality becomes you."