Tech-savvy Legal Fan Prints

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Violent Crime Statistics

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."