Tech-savvy Individuals Pillows

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

"You don't need to come in for any more check-ups . . . we can get most of your personal information off Facebook."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

Dr. using a gps to perform a colonoscopy

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

"No, that's solitaire. I need you to open the heart transplant app."

In other news, the network news continues to lose viewers to mobile devices and the internet. We'll discuss why that may be, after these messages Tired of loose dentures? Try the new Black and Decker staple guns. Staples. Not just for wood and paper anymore. Feminine itch got you feeling down?! Spend the next 2 minutes of your life watching us tell you how to put that, and other problems that have nothing to do with you, behind you forever! If you like this commercial break, stay tuned for eight

1804: Early Social Networking

Narcissus 2020

Gloria, why did you send me a text last night reading, "I ovulate tomorrow."? Because I assume you don't have a biological-clock app on your phone.

'Don't even bother, pal. Looks like they're all taken.'

'Have you noticed how the age at which people can't keep up with new technology is getting younger?'

Man texting while walking crashes into a parking meter. Bystander smiles and thinks "LMAO" (laugh my ass off)

"Late at night, as his masters slept, Rufus would prowl the internet."

'... And in tech news, cue card holders are losing their jobs after being replaced with smartphone apps.'

"Find out how Trump doesn't pay any taxes, and see if it can be done on my return."

The Re-Opening of Schools

"Boy, this is gonna be a long night!"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

e-shoes

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Relaxing in the Sun

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

"Did you get my tweet?"

Weird things I do because of the internet

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.