Tech-savvy Helper Pillows

"How long is it going to take for my computer to install all those updates?"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"A virus ate my homework."

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

Have you considered using email?

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

'You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your cart in the parking lot with a laptop.'

Frog Family Selfie

Employee performance review software.

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'