Tech-savvy Healthcare Worker Prints

"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"

"You want a glass of water...Hang on I think I've got an app for that!"

"If you need anything just log on with your personal pin code to the hospitals intranet where you'll find instructions for accessing the site where you can notify staff of any requirements you may have."

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

'You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your cart in the parking lot with a laptop.'

Have you considered using email?

Employee performance review software.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

'Suggestions' / 'e-Suggestions'.

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Hey Ma, Timmy's please..."

'What have I done? I sent an e-mail to the boss outlining a profound change in the way we run sales analysis. Now I may find myself replaced by a spreadsheet.'

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

Mr Phelps has left the office, but you can download a podcast of the highlights of his day at our website.

'Don't worry about the workload. The boss upgraded the computer.'

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

'Cell phones can make you more productive, but only if you turn them off.'

Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'