Tech-savvy Deity Fans Gifts

"Use your finger to scroll down for the next five commandments."

IGod.

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Family Home.

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

Religion and technology.

God creates humans.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

Jesus Saves

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.

Divine Cell

'Please have a seat while I review your internet history.'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"Not the God I expected."

That bear is engrossed in something on that phone. It's Winnie the Pooh and Twitter too!

The Kindle was first used used by Santa to keep track of the lists of naughty and nice children, and was originally called the Cringle.

'Click on the icon.'

'Santa sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been good, and he can find everyone's house with his GPS.'

The pastor forgot to remove his wireless mic before entering the baptismal."

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

Church sign: Now With WiFi.

"Sorry—that's the screen saver."