Tech Laugh Seeker Gifts

The Sombrero Satellite System.

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

Jerk Gene

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

Jim's Smart Kettle

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."

'The number 1 dinner is available in an updated version 1.1.'