Tech Laggards Prints

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

'You don't need separate bedrooms. You need separate computers.'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

'Hello?...Customer service?...Uhhh...How do you open the box?'

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

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"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

"Anything with amazon, I hear they treat their workforce like robots."

"Digital? We're not even cable ready!"

"I'm old school. Pass me a handwritten note."

'I've gone from watching movies in Cinemascope to a smart phone...and they call this progress?'

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

"I used to want 15 minutes of fame. Now I'd settle for 5 minutes of privacy."

'I don't think those apps have made Junior smarter.'

Large handbook for hand held PCs.