Tech Gadget Lover Prints

'And you say you check your e-mail on average three or four hundred times a day?'

'Yeah, this 4G goes like a train - delays, interruptions and signal problems.'

If your GPS gave directions like the rest of us.

'Mom said to keep an eye on you!'

'Wait a minute, this isn't a wide screen digital television....it's a bloody fish tank!'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

"The second camera records anyone trying to disable the first camera."

Computer Shop

Download the new Klingon cloaking app - stops you being tracked better than a VPN!

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Share the thrills of the Moonlight Sonata with the new Head-Mounted-Pro-Stunt-MusicSport-Camcorder.

Introducing the Faux Pas Eliminator!

Faecal Recognition Technology

"I assume sir won't be requiring the facial-recognition app."

"HDTV?"

Douche Tracker

"Heeey. Look what Randy have."

'It's the newest endoscopy technique. This ladybug is equipped with a tiny video camera and has been trained to thoroughly explore your nasal passages.'

' ... and I'd suggest you spend less time surfing the web.'

"A mobile phone is wasted on you."

'Fifteen minutes! I want to be famous for one tweet.'

Interactive television. Man says: 'This programme is rubbish!' TV replies: 'Get lost, Fatty!'

Man is robbed whilst he decides what to eat.

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

It's called Text-Neck Syndrome

Gloria knows where you've been tonight, Lance. Apparently, that sandwich she made you for lunch contained salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato and a GPS tracker. !! !!

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Haircuts

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."