Tech Enthusiast Gifts

"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

"He's an indoor cat."

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"

"If only I'd thought to take my damn phone with me, I could be getting some work done."

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

"He looks so natural."

'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

Dog using MP3 player scowls at dog that's still listening to gramophone player.

Christmas Technology

'And then I just hit delete. I haven't actually eaten any homework in years.'

'Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

It was after her third failed attempt at deciphering the captcha that Rachel began to suspect...

"No, still nothing. Check the mute button again."

"For security, our signs need to be at least eight characters long."

"I used to call people, then I got into e-mailing, then texting, and now I just ignore everyone."

"Want to know how many steps we took?"

'Gone phishing.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

How Life Changes In A Paperless Society.

"Can't we go five minutes without you checking your flower?"

"Alexa, would you like to say grace?"

The Evolution Of Man

"Surveillance camera 743 shows you disabling surveillance camera 742."

"I design retinal-controlled destination-mapping interfaces for self-driving transportation, but not in the traditional sense."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"OMG! I just got born!"

Evolution of Man

"He's not in today. You can email, comment on his blog, tweet him, leave a voicemail or contact him on Facebook. I can't take a message. That's above my payscale."

Information

'Sure, it seems harmless, but you hire one human and the next thing you know, they're taking your job.'

'Removing the phone is easy. Getting your head and arms to their original positions will take weeks of physical therapy.'

"I love the convenience, but the roaming charges are killing me."

"Would you mind if I ask SIRI for a 2nd opinion?"