Tech Developers T-Shirts

"It's part of our company's new health plan. You don't ever have to leave your desk for the virtual colonoscopy..."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Computer Bore

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

The DaVinci Code

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Robotic Man

'Can our software do that?'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Bright idea

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

Back to work...

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Mozart on a computer,

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

Working Late

Driverless cars rage.

I should probably get out more.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"