Tech-challenged Humor Lover Pillows

"Dad, at your age everyone makes y2k errors"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

AI Summit

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'Dad, somehow I got into the IRS files.'

'You are not haunted by the voices of the dead - You are tuned to four extra.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

"Do I use Google Maps driving or walking directions?"

"No, it isn't a mobile. It's my pipe."

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

All right, you may tell me about your internet startup idea. It's revolutionary. You know how the only way to tell if you stink is to sniff your armpit? Continue … and you know how embarrassing it is when people you know catch you sniffing your own armpit? Continue ... and you know how apps like "Uber" let you summon total strangers to drive by and provide you a service? Stop right there.

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

'The number 1 dinner is available in an updated version 1.1.'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."