Tech Behind Bars Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Follow me on Twitter at mailfraud5 to 10singsing.'

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

Bob had trouble connecting with nature, whereas nature seemed to have no trouble at all connecting with Bob.

Cattle Drive Zoom

"You guys go ahead—I'm an inside cat."

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'...and don't forget to switch off your cell phones.'

'You know what I just noticed about playing outside? No pop-up windows.'

"What this law firm needs is an app that can tweak the law in our favor."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet... where the hell am I??"

'I've been called up for jury service!'

Trimming

Prisoner counting off the days on his computer.

'Surprise, surprise, Wally the mole...'

"Come on, Charlie, let me in on when you guys are making the break!"

Santa visits prison.

Prisoner

"Cancel all hunger strikes."

'I've developed a variation of Linkedin. It's Lockedup.'

'Let it go, man. I really don't think your ex expects you to break out to attend her wedding. I think she's moved on.'

Prisoner calculates his time left in crowbars.

Where have you been? I met this woman. She was incredible. Really? Tell me. She's a salesperson at Computer Villa. She's a Dominatrix. Oh no. It was amazing. She told me what to buy. She called my old technology obsolete! Time to check you into a home. Where's Sadie? I need to be spanked with my phone.

Prisoner's Escape Route Blocked.

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

A prison inmate is typing prison tally marks in his laptop computer.

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

"Mum's really looking forward to seeing you soon, Dad... And she wants to know how the tunnel's coming along."