Team Sport Devotee Pillows

Hockey Season.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Playing pig

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Why T-Rexes do not play volleyball..."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

Football Delivery

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

'That, and my head is shaped like one.'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"Hey -- if you ever want to talk about this no hitter, I'm here."

Zoo Football League. Don't worry. They're formidable opponents in the early season but they'll be hibernating by the time the playoffs start.

Rudy Giuliani's shrine

'Nothing like the sound of leather on wood, eh? Eh?'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"Sometimes I question his priorities."

"She's a little overworked but, depending on what happens next Sunday, I'll probably jump back on."

"We're playing soccer, not football!"

'D'ya wanna wait until it thaws to see if it drops in the hole.'

"I checked out how much it would be for hockey, and guess what? The kids are playing pickleball this year!"

I love Kung Fu.

"You're still in here? Go home. We lost."

Russel could always spot his mother in the crowd.

"Well, some of us were synchronized."