Teaching Humorist Pillows

'How could you flunk lese majeste?'

"Miss- my pencil's unleaded!"

"Hard summer, Miss Donahue?"

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Math Teacher

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."