Teaching Artist T-Shirts

A Puppet Named Juan

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

The Artist

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"You're welcome."

'Projectile painting.'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

It's a call from Tate modern.

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Misunderstood artist

"You're my Mona Lisa."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'