Teacher-parent Meeting Pillows

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

First love.

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'