Teacher-parent Meeting Pillows

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

Common Core Family Therapy

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

First love.

'All I know is when it's the 'birds and bees' it's about sex; and when it's the 'bulls and bears' it's about money.'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'