Parent-teacher Meeting Pillows

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

Teacher to parent: 'He's been transferred from Detention to a Minimum Security Facility.'

'It's not my fault. Bad grades wouldn't matter if I had been born rich.'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

"Benny has a little too much aptitude for art."

"Hey, mom! That 'F' I got in history...my creative writing teacher read it and gave me an 'A'."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

Eskimo mom to kid: 'I can't believe you had a brain freeze during the test on the Ice Age.'

"He's very smart. We just need to work on his focus."

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

'He's very good in history. But he keeps insisting that the father of our country is Booker T. Washington.'

'And then Mindy had the nerve to call me a 'helicopter mom.' Me? In this wonderful jetpack! As if!'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Relax! The college process need not be stressful! Staying calm actually helps your child cope. Parents' night. Top colleges are brutally competitive. Even state universities are rejecting excellent students. I'm relaxed. Me too!

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Common Core Family Therapy

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

'I should warn you about my father. He's a landscape gardener.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.