Taxidermist T-Shirts

"Pound for pound, I'm the most successful hunter I know."

'Okay... if you're a leprechaun then let's see you Riverdance.'

'Great cabin Leroy, the rug really ties it all in.'

"Wow. That Phil sure is lucky to be indoors on a night like this!"

"Species loss has hit him hard."

J.J. Smithers: Veterinarian and Taxidermist

'What, remove him and ruin a perfectly good story!'

Dragon Head Trophy

'...And last year I finally bagged me the big one!'

'Taxidermist? No, no...I consider myself a 'tax enthusiast.' But I agree that I captured his essence, and he looks very natural.'

Two taxidermists are confronted with a dead elephant - 'We're going to need some overtime for this one...'

'It was Oscar's final request.'

Taxidermy.

'Taxidermy? Jeepers, I didn't even know that was a crime. How about you guys - what are you in for?'

Joint Ventures!

'Our accident in Wyoming wiped out our vacations for the next 5 years.'

'Ugh! Forget it, Earl. Who'd want a face like that hanging on their wall?'

'Plus I found this great set of porridge bowls!'

Joe's Vet and Taxidermy

"Congratulations! I think I have just the position for you."

"...and this one here gave me a real battle!!"

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

Rudolph's head is mounted on wall over fireplace.

Capt. Ahab has Moby Dick mounted on wall.

'Duh. He's a taxi-dermist.'

'I'm a taxi-dermist.'

'Once I got him into the water, it was no contest!'

'You'll get him back one way or another... my brother is a taxidermist.'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"Taxidermist!"

"The hard part was pulling my head off the wall and reattaching it to my body."

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

Superintendent

"I didn't catch it, Haskins--I bought it. Which is precisely the point."

"And that's a huge colander."