Taxes Pillows

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

IRS: You are here - arrow points to taxes, in between birth and death.

'I see you have all of your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

'Like the sign says...It's all THEIRS.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'We've merged.'

'Mr Reynolds, you can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'

'I have to admit ... the fist pumps are making me nervous.'

Penny Saved, Penny Earned.

To err is human and subject to penalty

'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''

IRS: Short Form.

'Mind if I go in first?'

'What the... they raised our property tax assessment 21 percent because we added a birdbath!'

Irish Step Accounting

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

'The only thing that is certain in life is death and taxes!'

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

'I've found an Inheritance Tax loophole!' - Immortality.

C.S.I.R.S.

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'The dog ate my tax receipts...'

'Congress presented its report on simplifying the tax code today - it's 4,385 pages long.'

'You know, you're even starting to scare me...'

"I don't suppose you remembered the tax-deduction forms that I asked you to bring last year, did you?"

HMRC Self-Assessment - Poor

Two doors. One says, 'IRS Entrance,' and the other says, 'Locked.'

"I have a home office. Can I deduct trips to the kitchen and bathroom?"

'You can keep the payroll -- I just want the payroll deductions!'

'I'm with the I.R.S. you had better report this as income.'

'So much for the luck of the Irish!'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'