Tax Teasing Gifts

'How can I be sure it stands for Island Rescue Service?'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"This is not good at all!"

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

'Isn't that nice, honey? Our money sent a postcard from the tax haven!'

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'

'I'm with the I.R.S. you had better report this as income.'

"Nine lives is great, but the inheritance tax is what kills you."

Best friends: death and taxes.

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth."

"I see you made the check out to 'Infernal Revenue Service'. Do you know the penalty for a frivolous return?"

"I'm a working dog, and the IRS never lets me forget it."

'I'm afraid you're going to have to reveal the exact extent of your economic clout, Mr. Fletcher.'

Stand-up Accountant

"Relax! You loaded the monopoly game by mistake instead of the 'Prepare Your Income Tax' program."

Health Club Warning

"Stop me if you've heard this before."

'Don't feel so bad about this. I'll give you a receipt for tax purposes.'

'You forgot to pay your payroll tax.'

Before we start, would you be interested in some tickets for the Inland Revenue Annual Dance?

'You may be a dermatologist, but you still cannot write off going to skin shows as business trips!'

'Well, the joke's on you -- I don't HAVE $873.91.'

Stealth taxman

IRS, 'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website!'

'You never knew your father -- they closed a tax loophole while he was in it.'

'No, there are no concessions for senior citizens.'