Tax Tale Teller Pillows

Man confronts death and taxes at the same time.

'...and when you're not kind and obedient, the ugly Taxman will come to bleed you!'

"Your tax return reads like one of your novels."

Accounting: Fiction and Non-Fiction.

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'This is great fiction! My cousin, an agent in Hollywood, may be able to sell book and movie rights.'

'Don't worry. he always does that right before he raises taxes.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"Do you mind if we do this without the violins?"

'Are you sure it's necessary to sign this part declaring 'all information is true and correct to the best of my knowledge'?.'

'You won't have me as a deduction anymore.'

Tax haven.

'It's true

"He's ready for you now. Don't forget to ask for the job at the end of the interview."

'Hey! Roll a mile in my shoes!'

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

Having shut early for Christmas, Mr Small decided to get back to work early to check the answering machine.

"I've never objected to paying tax... as long as it's other people paying."

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

"Oh dear, Mr. Kringle. I fear we may have to put you on our naughty list."