
'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."
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'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."
"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."
"It's a dependent!"
Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!
"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."
Dog with a neckerchief feeds dogs in matching nappies.
Man and dog on their hover boards.
Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.
'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'
Remote-controlled cat flap.
'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'
"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."
Dog at computer screen initiates a search for master's slippers.
"That chew toy was boring, so I got on your computer. Apparently, neither one of you has a clue about basic computer security and maintenance."
"Welcome home, oh, and that automatic cat feeder....niiiice!"
'...I'd prefer it if you didn't fetch my iPad.'
"I want to leave everything to my cat."
'Mr Reynolds, you can't count your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.'
'If I had a cellphone you wouldn't have to whistle all the time.'
"This is great. I'm chasing a virtual squirrel."
'It's happened ... the tax free municipal bonds are now heavily taxed.'
'My dog is worried about the economy because dog food is up to 50p a can... that's about £3.50 in dog money!'
"Riley doesn't bark. He tweets."
"He's typing something into the GPS. Just how long of a walk does he want to go on?"
Walkies.
IRS, 'I can grant you an extension, but it's going to COST you.'
'You deducted whoopie cushions as a business expense Just what kind of business are you in, Mr, Quincy'
'Is there an app for marking your territory?'
"I taught him to speak now I'm teaching him to text!"
'I can monitor the cat's heart rate on my iphone now - which is handy'
"We have to buy her a good scratching post. She keeps going to a search engine and scratching a photo of one. We also have to buy another monitor."
'There's an APP that does those old tricks now.'
IRS: 'Instead of 'income tax', let's call it 'revenue displacment.'
"Our computer indicates your return is a web of deception, a tissue of lies and a document of deceit—in considerably less colorful language, of course."
Canine Obedience School. Sitting, rolling over, playing dead, fetching!.. I wish they'd teach us something practical like how to order treats online!
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