Tax Savant Pillows

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

'Keep a stiff upper lip, Mr. Haskins. That's all you get to keep.'

IRS. His deductions are a lot more legitimate than his income is.

'Your Congressman is a very good friend of yours? Excellent! -- We'll audit him, too!'

"I suppose you have the receipts to qualify your deductions?"

'Son, you've been a good tax deduction, but now you must join your kind in the work force and prop up my social security.'

"You found another deductible receipt."

"The guy didn't take even one unauthorized deduction. . . I ask you, what kind of American is that?"

"I'd like you to meet my wife and other tax considerations."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim