Tax Return Aficionado T-Shirts

'For tax purposes. . . we can deduct our $7.00 dinners on our tax return. . . the food wasn't worth $7.00. . . they only gave me one scoop of corn.'

'You've done this before.'

"This is great! It's shaping up like it could be another huge tax writeoff for the boss."

'I like to pay as much tax as I can but I can't talk to anyone about it...'

Come in, Mr. Hancock - I've just been reading you tax return.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

Footing The Bill

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Carpe De Revenue!"

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'