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King Lear and his Accoutant

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"No it doesn't stand for Vodka and Tonic."

Penny Saved, Penny Earned.

'Take my advice, stop thinking of it as your money.'

'Mind if I go in first?'

'Congress presented its report on simplifying the tax code today - it's 4,385 pages long.'

Accountant speaks with client in ball room and fun with taxes

'It's simple, but I like it!'

I'd Rather Have The Short Tax Form.

Office visitor, "Ooh you frightened me for a moment there I thought you were the VAT inspector."

I'm afraid it's time for you to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's,

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Of course I'm tax-exempt!'

'May I ask where you are taking me?

"I'm a Schedule D kind of guy with a little Schedule E thrown in."

"You're a hard man to trace, Mr Fenton."

'If they had it to do it all over again' 'We'll sell you Manhattan Island for $24 worth of trinkets. However, the sales tax will be $24 trillion.'

'My mistake was writing to the I.R.S. to thank them for not auditing me that year.'

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

Man sees boy selling lemonade and preparing taxes.

"How come they call these tax returns when I never get any money returned?"

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

Raising Taxes Is Political Suicide.

'I'm sorry, Dr. Hecht is not accepting any new patients, because he's in too high a tax bracket already.'

'Congratulations. You're the father of two tax exemptions.'

'Well, it's a first step...'

Tax Breaks: "But where are the jobs?"

Tax Shelters of the Rich and Famous.

'Surely you can earn more than this! Someone has to support Medicare and Social Security.'

"I've sorted it out, the computer put your national Insurance number in the tax due column"

The Buck Stops here.

IRS agent to man: 'What about the money you earned from the tooth fairy back in 1975?'

"Do I have to add up all the numbers, or is it like when you do your taxes?"