Tax Return Aficionado Pillows

'For tax purposes. . . we can deduct our $7.00 dinners on our tax return. . . the food wasn't worth $7.00. . . they only gave me one scoop of corn.'

'You've done this before.'

"This is great! It's shaping up like it could be another huge tax writeoff for the boss."

'I like to pay as much tax as I can but I can't talk to anyone about it...'

Come in, Mr. Hancock - I've just been reading you tax return.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

Footing The Bill

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

Osborne's Tax Cuts

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

Stimulus bust

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.